Access of happiness...

Having great weeks, yes finally everything is getting better and better :) and it's 'cause I already get used to be alone here in Merida I mean I still miss my mom, but now I can stand it.

My subjects are just amazing and I'm learning a lot, I'm starting to learn Maya and it's too hard that I believe I had to do more than my best to achieve it, but I'm happy with this :)

Me

Just wasting some time, I'm already in front of the computer, looking desperately something to do with all the free time I have after school, I've tried to write, but, my mind isn't being very helpful and I know why, but though I know it, I don't wanna to accept it, because I need to do something, to put back all this bull shit that is almost is drowning me, but he doesn't get it, he just wanna let me being depress, I almost sure he already give up with me, and who can blame him??? I'm just a waste of time, space and air.

Who wants to buy me a life?

Yeah, I'm still being depressive, the reason is pretty easy, mom left me, well not exactly left me, she needs to go to my home to work, you know economy is not good at all right now, but anyway, in someway I felt like that, I felt like if she was trying to leave me nicely, and I thought "who wants to buy me a life? or better than: who wants to buy my life? is almost new, and nobody will miss me so here it is almost free just for a moment of happiness, so who wants it? I wont regret."


Yes I know it changes DO NOT help me, in fact I hate them, I like to think that this new depression is just for that, the hateful changes.

Happiness is so bitch!!!

I've looked for her since I realize I wasn't (am not) happy, but all my tries have failed, of course that makes me believe she´s such a bitch, because I know a lot of people that have found her just without know it, without tried it even a little, so I guess she decides who's going to have her, and she didn't choice me.

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hehe that was me being a depressive person

When the new life is almost the same that the old one

Well the things in my life haven't changed a lot, I still use the computer almost all the time, but there's a new thing, because there is some of hope and that's weird and good, hope in my life, that's something I hadn't guess before, and it feels good, really good xD

Yada yada yada xD

I'm not studying english anymore, since I left home because money do no not let me, and according to the requirements of my college I already have the level needed to have my degree (I'm still starting and they are talking of degree o.O) , so they aren't going to give me lessons :S, and my english is bad, I mean am not a total disaster but to write this I took more time that I thought I would, and beside that I had to use the dictionary so I still need lessons if someday I want to travel abroad, and the school offer exchanges, so I have the opportunity and I don't want to loose it just because I haven't the enough english to been in a country that have english as a official  language, so when I find a job -a good one- I'll try to study it again, while that happen I am going to practice as much as I can ^^

Somethings have changed

Yeap, there are a lot of them that already changed, my life has turned in such a weird stuff, well in fact I feel it because this is something I haven't lived before, I left my home in Cancun, Q.Roo last Saturday at 1:00 am, and yesterday (Sunday) at 11:00 pm, I started living here in Merida, where I'm going to start studying the university tomorrow morning, so this is really exciting because my mom is staying here just for a week and then I'll be alone, and I don't know if I'm going to deal with really well, because I've never been alone before, and I've never been living in a kind of apartment building, actually is just a room with a little bathroom and a little balcony which is in the back and that I'll use like a kitchen because it seems to be ideal for that, so at first I'm feeling a bit tight, but I'll get used to it............. I hope xD