Who wants to buy me a life?

Yeah, I'm still being depressive, the reason is pretty easy, mom left me, well not exactly left me, she needs to go to my home to work, you know economy is not good at all right now, but anyway, in someway I felt like that, I felt like if she was trying to leave me nicely, and I thought "who wants to buy me a life? or better than: who wants to buy my life? is almost new, and nobody will miss me so here it is almost free just for a moment of happiness, so who wants it? I wont regret."


Yes I know it changes DO NOT help me, in fact I hate them, I like to think that this new depression is just for that, the hateful changes.

Happiness is so bitch!!!

I've looked for her since I realize I wasn't (am not) happy, but all my tries have failed, of course that makes me believe she´s such a bitch, because I know a lot of people that have found her just without know it, without tried it even a little, so I guess she decides who's going to have her, and she didn't choice me.

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hehe that was me being a depressive person

When the new life is almost the same that the old one

Well the things in my life haven't changed a lot, I still use the computer almost all the time, but there's a new thing, because there is some of hope and that's weird and good, hope in my life, that's something I hadn't guess before, and it feels good, really good xD

Yada yada yada xD

I'm not studying english anymore, since I left home because money do no not let me, and according to the requirements of my college I already have the level needed to have my degree (I'm still starting and they are talking of degree o.O) , so they aren't going to give me lessons :S, and my english is bad, I mean am not a total disaster but to write this I took more time that I thought I would, and beside that I had to use the dictionary so I still need lessons if someday I want to travel abroad, and the school offer exchanges, so I have the opportunity and I don't want to loose it just because I haven't the enough english to been in a country that have english as a official  language, so when I find a job -a good one- I'll try to study it again, while that happen I am going to practice as much as I can ^^

Somethings have changed

Yeap, there are a lot of them that already changed, my life has turned in such a weird stuff, well in fact I feel it because this is something I haven't lived before, I left my home in Cancun, Q.Roo last Saturday at 1:00 am, and yesterday (Sunday) at 11:00 pm, I started living here in Merida, where I'm going to start studying the university tomorrow morning, so this is really exciting because my mom is staying here just for a week and then I'll be alone, and I don't know if I'm going to deal with really well, because I've never been alone before, and I've never been living in a kind of apartment building, actually is just a room with a little bathroom and a little balcony which is in the back and that I'll use like a kitchen because it seems to be ideal for that, so at first I'm feeling a bit tight, but I'll get used to it............. I hope xD

On the next chapter...

Well, I have to make a presentation, about any topic I want, or play a role, or recite a poem, or something but obiously it has to be for the level where we (my english group) are.

So I want to recite (with the video) Vincent by Tim burton, or The raven by Edgar Allan Poe, but I don't guess that the teacher allow me to do it, because their gloomy, and some of my partners are young, (the youngest has 13 or something) anyway, if you now somenthing as cool as those poems (I don't know how to call to "Vincent") but a little less gloomy let me know it

Hiding

 Day by day my soul dies
slowly, the time pass
and each minute means
a diferent grade of pain

But sun always come back
even after the darkest nigth
that's what always people said
when saw the sadness on my eyes

And something cold gets inside me
growing, making me inhuman
ressistent against a little lightning of hope
because it knows that that can destroy me, us

So now I can't laught
I just smile as a mask
to hide myself inside the wall
the wall will always protect me
against the happines, because the happines
always bring the suffering behind