Glorious day.

Having a good time, I want to do everything right now: clean up my mess, cook something delicious, do my homework, read some novel, do exercise, dance, write, practice my English, my maya, anyway I'm full of energy, so this is a big day, I'm going to make the most of it.

Access of happiness...

Having great weeks, yes finally everything is getting better and better :) and it's 'cause I already get used to be alone here in Merida I mean I still miss my mom, but now I can stand it.

My subjects are just amazing and I'm learning a lot, I'm starting to learn Maya and it's too hard that I believe I had to do more than my best to achieve it, but I'm happy with this :)

Me

Just wasting some time, I'm already in front of the computer, looking desperately something to do with all the free time I have after school, I've tried to write, but, my mind isn't being very helpful and I know why, but though I know it, I don't wanna to accept it, because I need to do something, to put back all this bull shit that is almost is drowning me, but he doesn't get it, he just wanna let me being depress, I almost sure he already give up with me, and who can blame him??? I'm just a waste of time, space and air.

Who wants to buy me a life?

Yeah, I'm still being depressive, the reason is pretty easy, mom left me, well not exactly left me, she needs to go to my home to work, you know economy is not good at all right now, but anyway, in someway I felt like that, I felt like if she was trying to leave me nicely, and I thought "who wants to buy me a life? or better than: who wants to buy my life? is almost new, and nobody will miss me so here it is almost free just for a moment of happiness, so who wants it? I wont regret."


Yes I know it changes DO NOT help me, in fact I hate them, I like to think that this new depression is just for that, the hateful changes.

Happiness is so bitch!!!

I've looked for her since I realize I wasn't (am not) happy, but all my tries have failed, of course that makes me believe she´s such a bitch, because I know a lot of people that have found her just without know it, without tried it even a little, so I guess she decides who's going to have her, and she didn't choice me.

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hehe that was me being a depressive person

When the new life is almost the same that the old one

Well the things in my life haven't changed a lot, I still use the computer almost all the time, but there's a new thing, because there is some of hope and that's weird and good, hope in my life, that's something I hadn't guess before, and it feels good, really good xD

Yada yada yada xD

I'm not studying english anymore, since I left home because money do no not let me, and according to the requirements of my college I already have the level needed to have my degree (I'm still starting and they are talking of degree o.O) , so they aren't going to give me lessons :S, and my english is bad, I mean am not a total disaster but to write this I took more time that I thought I would, and beside that I had to use the dictionary so I still need lessons if someday I want to travel abroad, and the school offer exchanges, so I have the opportunity and I don't want to loose it just because I haven't the enough english to been in a country that have english as a official  language, so when I find a job -a good one- I'll try to study it again, while that happen I am going to practice as much as I can ^^

Somethings have changed

Yeap, there are a lot of them that already changed, my life has turned in such a weird stuff, well in fact I feel it because this is something I haven't lived before, I left my home in Cancun, Q.Roo last Saturday at 1:00 am, and yesterday (Sunday) at 11:00 pm, I started living here in Merida, where I'm going to start studying the university tomorrow morning, so this is really exciting because my mom is staying here just for a week and then I'll be alone, and I don't know if I'm going to deal with really well, because I've never been alone before, and I've never been living in a kind of apartment building, actually is just a room with a little bathroom and a little balcony which is in the back and that I'll use like a kitchen because it seems to be ideal for that, so at first I'm feeling a bit tight, but I'll get used to it............. I hope xD

On the next chapter...

Well, I have to make a presentation, about any topic I want, or play a role, or recite a poem, or something but obiously it has to be for the level where we (my english group) are.

So I want to recite (with the video) Vincent by Tim burton, or The raven by Edgar Allan Poe, but I don't guess that the teacher allow me to do it, because their gloomy, and some of my partners are young, (the youngest has 13 or something) anyway, if you now somenthing as cool as those poems (I don't know how to call to "Vincent") but a little less gloomy let me know it

Hiding

 Day by day my soul dies
slowly, the time pass
and each minute means
a diferent grade of pain

But sun always come back
even after the darkest nigth
that's what always people said
when saw the sadness on my eyes

And something cold gets inside me
growing, making me inhuman
ressistent against a little lightning of hope
because it knows that that can destroy me, us

So now I can't laught
I just smile as a mask
to hide myself inside the wall
the wall will always protect me
against the happines, because the happines
always bring the suffering behind

Why is so hard just sit down in front a computer and talk about something in another language????

I just don't know it, I just know that everytime I try to do a post, I spend a lot of time sitting here in my desk, imagining what I'm going to post, and at the end I left the computer whitout have done anything. That is so pathetic, isn't it????

If I don't talk about nani, then I'm not me!!!!

Have a pet is such a big responsability but they give you all the love that have to give, If you love them too of curse

They are there always, and even when they can't understant our words, they can understant our feelings, and sometimes they can cheer up us better than persons, and its because we don't need empty words, we need simple, real and wounderful love <3

Yes I have a pet and I'm a disaster taking care of myself, but I love her so much, that I never forget about her needs.

She is my perfect turtle NANI ^^

I love that picture, I never thought that she were going to stay in that position for the picture, but she were xD

Frustration!!!!

I feel like when I was a child and my mom discovered that I had broken something in the kitchen and she got angry and then dissapointed of me, making me feel really awful (I don't remember if this is the right way to writte this word).

Why????

I haven't the scotland-german teacher anymore because the stupiest persons in my class went to talk with the principal and told her that they didn't understand to our teacher because he said almost everything in english and then the principal decided to change our teacher T.T

But that happend a week ago.....

I'm dissapointed of myself because today our new teacher (since a week ago) made us a kind of test in a game, about everything we had already view (two units from the book that we are starting) and none of us pass, I mind everyone lost.

The game was in teams, and it was like a maze, and to advance we had to throw a dice, and write a sentence acording to what he said, and he said things like: "write a sentence with stative verbs" (that was the sentence that he said to my team U.U'') and if you didn't know, well you just didn't advanced and well not even a team advanced.....

But the thing that kills me was his dissapointed look, I had to STUDY HARD!!!

New teacher

I haven't been so excited about go to english class until now, we have a new teacher that isn't from here, he is from scotland and his spanish is a joke (That is what he says, I'm not being bad), and the good thing of this is that we have to speak in english because if we don't speak in english he is not going to understant us, so I think that I can learn a lot more ^^

Hate

I hate, those "human beings" that talk bad about my Mexico.

This is a lonely place ^^

Well, that doesn't sorprise me, because I mind, Who wants read a blog in a very bad english written by a girl that never ever knows what the hell say???,  But thanks God, the things are like this, because in this way, I can make mistakes, without shame xD, so thanks all of you for don't be here, I love you, kisses and stay without be here (?) hahahahaha

Being me

Well today was a boring day, why??? well is the 3rd  saturday that I had to brougth my computer, and the fucking computer is still break down, I am considerating throw it away, so I have to repit myself: Calm down, everuthing will be allright your computer is going to revive  But I'm pretty sure that soon(really soon) I'm going to throw it away, I hope that that don't happend, but I can't promise anything